Kiss Me, I'm Evil
by ShunKazamis-Girl
Summary: Thinking that Dan and Keith don't get along together, the other brawlers decided to force them to "marry" each other. The result, however, ended REALLY badly... Slight crack and yaoi imagery. Exclusive one-shot written early for April Fool's Day 2012.


**Eugene: **Ok~ so this is a random Bakugan story that's been stuck on my head for some reason; it disturbs me but at the same time, makes me laugh… XD I don't know, people might kill me for this…

**Dan: **LIKE HELL THEY WOULD!

**Spectra: **…

**Eugene: **But this _is_ an early April Fool's Day story. The only thing that you wouldn't expect in there is that the victims _weren_'_t_ told that it's a prank in the first place; they just sensed it. Anyway, hope you would, um… enjoy it? ONWARD WITH THE APRIL FOOL'S DAY ONE-SHOT! KISS ME, I'M EVIL (yeah, random title is random…)!

Shun, Marucho, Runo, Julie, Mira, Baron, and Ace were all not happy today. Not one bit.

Why you ask? Even though Keith (or in some cases, Spectra) just joined the Battle Brawlers, he and Dan were brawling against each other almost constantly, 24/7. They battled in the morning, they battled in the afternoon, and they _even _battle each other while sleepwalking! When will they ever get along…?

"Those battles are giving me a headache." Shun groaned as he rubbed his temples to prevent the sounds of yet another battle in his head.

"I agree, Shun-san. Besides, Spectra's gone for good so Keith himself shouldn't be that.." Marucho trailed off to search for a certain word in his sentence.

"Battle-obsessed?" Runo suggested.

"Yeah, I guess…"

Mira sighed as she watched Drago bashing at Helios. "Why can't they just get along…?"

While Baron was watching the entire battle with a bored look in his face, all of a sudden, an idea came to him.

"I know how we can make them get along!" Baron cheerfully (yet also deviously) bursted out. "All we need is that professional-looking church-thingy (read: altar), a girly dress, a ring, and that marriage certificate-whatever it is…"

The other brawlers (excluding Dan and Spectra, obviously) looked at the young Vestal brawler as if he grew a second head or something but the mind slowly sunk in their minds and they understood, revealing 6 more evil-looking devious faces. For someone slightly dense and clumsy, his idea was pure genius…

An hour later, the brawl finally finished. Dan, Drago, Keith, and Helios were all panting hard with sweat from the last round.

"I gotta admit it, Keith. Even if you went good guy, you're still powerful from back when you were evil!" Dan said.

"I still am, aren't I?" A smirk was delivered in Keith's smile. "After all, we need to prepare ourselves in case one of the Vexos or even that Zenoheld challenges us to a brawl.."

"Yeah, good point. Wanna go again?"

"You read my mind, once again, Kuso."

"Alright! Let's- ACK!" All of a sudden, Runo and Julie grabbed Keith by his waist while Dan was roughly dragged by Shun, Marucho, Baron, and Ace.

"You guys, what the hell are you doing?" Dan tried to squirm away from his friends's grip, but they're just too strong. Dan honestly didn't remember where he was dragged to, but the next thing he knew was that he was in one of Marucho's huge bathrooms (the one that almost looked like a throne room, but with a single small toilet). Shun, Marucho, Baron, and Ace started to strip Dan off his sleek red jacket, white pants, and blue tank top, leaving the brunette with only his boxers and his bare chest.

"Argh! This is abuse, man!" Dan tried to get away again.

"No, it isn't~" Marucho singsonged playfully.

"Besides, that new outfit of yours will look cute on you, Dan." Ace smirked as Dan's arms and legs were flopping like a fish.

"We just need you to stay still, Master Dan~" Baron soothed to his 'master'.

"This will only take a minute." Shun put in.

Then, as if by a flash, Dan was now wearing a dress with long, flowing sleeves, a tight waist, pink and red ribbons on the trim, skirt, and collar, and red patent leather pumps with knee-length frilly socks. Dan looked like a girl on her wedding day. Something that NO ONE would expect from the #1 brawler. There was also a plain silver ring with 2 diamonds and a ruby on the third finger of his left hand.

"Wait a sec, _why_ am I wearing a dress. _And_ a ring?" Dan demanded as he saw himself wearing the dress on the reflection of a mirror next to him. He blushed really hard.

"You'll see~" Was all the other guys said.

They led Dan to a room with a long white carpet standing out from the wooden floors, random chairs, and white decorations everywhere. But the first thing Dan saw was Keith wearing a (surprisingly cute) tuxedo with a crimson red tie and a red rosebud pinned on the left side. He saw Keith trying to resist at laughing at Dan in his dress and made a face at the Vestal's reaction.

"….Why am I wearing this 'tuxedo' while Dan's wearing a.. dress?" Keith began to question to the now giggling Runo and Julie next to him.

"You'll find out." Julie just giggled.

"And now we just need to you two to sign this sheet…" Runo held a piece of cream-coloured paper with embossed lace patterns on the edges.

"Ok..?" Staring at each other, then at Runo blankly, they just wrote their signatures on it as Runo indicated. Smiling, she handed the paper to Shun, who stood towering above the two Pyrus brawlers now.

"My dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the holy matrimony of Keith Clay and Dan Kuso…"

Wait~ 'holy matrimony'? What do they mean? They both looked confused at this, but Shun and the others just ignored them. The ninja brawler just continued.

"Any reason that these two shall not be wed, speak now and forever hold your peace-"

Then, by sudden shock, realization hit the two of them.

"ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO GET US _MARRIED_?" They shouted in anger and shock. How dare they! I mean, they're _male_, for crying out loud! This is like… well, _gay_ marriage. Or as the Japanese citizens and anime fans would put in, _yaoi_. Why would the other brawlers do such a thing to them..?

"-And now shut up." Shun cut in, giving the two of them 'the evil eye'. Dan and Keith didn't say anything as Shun went on with those wedding vows.

"Do you, Dan-kun, take Keith-kun as your lawfully wedded… um, husband? To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" Shun then turned his focus on Dan, who went pale at the 'husband' part. Dan would've said something like, "_NO_!_ GET ME OUTTA THIS_!", but then Keith mouthed the words, "Don't worry, I have a plan.", which made Dan nod a bit before (trying) to seal the deal with,

"I, Danma Kuso.. or Daniel, whatever, take you, Keith Clay, for my lawful… _husband_, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

"And do you, Keith-kun, take Dan-kun as your lawfully wedded-" Shun couldn't help but to snicker at the next word. "-_wife_, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" He now turned to Keith, who flustered a pale pink.

"I, Keith Clay, take you, Dan Kuso, for my lawful… _wife_.. (Keith cringed at calling Dan this word. So did Dan, obviously.) To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." From what Dan can tell, Keith managed to say the vow without embarrassment. As if he actually _wanted_ this.

"_No_~ _bad brain. He is totally against it…." _Dan thought to himself before looking back at Shun, the other brawlers, and back at Keith again.

"By the power invested in me, by the planet Earth-"

"Don't forget New Vestroia and Vestal, Kazami!" Ace then pointed out.

"Right…." Shun rolled his eyes before continuing. "-I now pronounce you husband and… (Shun snickered yet again at this word) wife."

After what felt like few hours (really 5 minutes), Dan started to regret at Keith's plan a little, for the blonde started to stare intensively at his wide brown eyes…

"_Keith_, _you may now kiss the bride_." Shun announced in a loud voice that startled the both of them. Now _that _got them blushing furiously. I mean, they're guys so it doesn't feel right… is it? Dan and Keith both heard Runo and Julie taking pictures with their cell phones and whispering about yaoi moments from other anime while Marucho, Baron, and Ace tried hard not to laugh. Even Shun looked smug. They started to cheer.

Looking into each other's eyes, they kept theirs shut while they slowly opened their lips a little as if they're about to kiss. They were just.. _almost_ there, lips barely touching when their eyes suddenly flashed opened and narrowed at the other brawlers, proceeding to beat them up!

"WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME- AAH! OUCH~!" Shun, Marucho, Runo, Julie, Mira, Baron, and Ace yelled out in agony as they were beaten up by the 'newly-weds'. Serves _them_ right.

And from that moment on, they learned that Dan and Keith _do _get along; they just don't always show it.

AND BEFORE _ANY _OF YOU CAN SAY SOMETHING, _NO_, _THEY ARE NOT ACTUALLY IN A RELATIONSHIP_ (DUH)!"

**Eugene: **And there you have it, people, the most random one-shot that I'd ever wrote. XD I had fun writing this, for some reason AND NO, THIS IS _NOT_ YAOI. It just _looks_ like it. That is all. See ya!


End file.
